Here's My Dad's Friend

After me saying he has no friends on the balcony, the blackmailed King looked around and thought, no Jimmy Savile's gone, so has the Australian painter guy, even the repair shop guy won't speak to me no more, so he wheels out one of his late blackmailed Father's friends who has garnered quite a few 'gongs' over his lengthy lifetime for his blackmailed Battenburg loyalty!

...and he gets even cushier high paid jobs on the BBC than Lord Sugar or Claudia Winkleman!

...but he ain't no Lord, which only goes to prove that you are better off Blackmailing a Battenburg than licking their arse!!!